The Fair

Author's Note: Hey! Zena asked me to put this up, so I'm finally delivering! This is an outdated but still very cute Dude x Ark oneshot that was originally requested by Zena as well (thank you, rad dad). If you wanna know what the fuss is all about before I start posting longer stuff, this is the oneshot for you. I haven't edited anything for the sake of posterity. Thanks and enjoy!

“Hey, Ark, wanna go to the fair?” Dude asks randomly one day while they are eating lunch.

“Ooo.” Connor catcalls, Lily’s chortles only serving as a harmonious complement to his light hearted mockery. “Sounds romantic!”

“Shut the fu-” Ark snaps on instinct, but Callisto’s tranquil smile and Dude’s pointed glare give him pause. “... hell up, Connor. You’re not funny.”

(“You’re so whipped.” Connor mutters under his breath smugly, but Ark doesn’t rise to his bait. There can always be an argument about it later, after all.)

“It’s not, really!” Dude says, though if his intent is to convince the others or himself is unclear. “I just thought it would be fun, y’know?”

“I don’t.” Ark doesn’t see much appeal in the idea of going to the fair. After all, it was the same bland affair every year: some games, a lame haunted house, the swings, and a Ferris wheel. Sure, he likes lording his superiority at the shooting game over the person that ran it, but that isn’t a big enough incentive to get him to go. Especially if the others are going to tag along.

Actually, now that he thinks of it, it serves as a good question. “Hypothetically, if I agree to go with you, will these bozos be with us? Or your brothers?”

“Bozos?!?” Lily acts as though she has been wounded by his words, even though it is abundantly clear that she isn’t at all affected. Beside her, her sister looks somewhat hurt (though it is hard to tell, considering her usual sad expressions).

“Ah, no.” Dude then thinks better of it. “Ah, I hope you guys don’t mind that!” It is clear to Ark that he is mainly directing this sentiment at Callisto, though he is unsure how the others interpret it.

“I don’t mind.” Callisto pats Dude’s arm softly. “Valdis and I are going swimming.”

(Valdis doesn’t seem very enthused about this, but that isn’t much of a change, either.)

“Lily said she’d spot me at the gym.” Connor nonchalantly shrugs. (From the way he is currently presenting himself, Ark can’t help but wonder if he is, perhaps, avoiding someone.)

“‘Lily’ is right here, you know. But, yeah, I’m going to be with him. Which means you two lovebirds can go have all the fun your little hearts desire.”

Dude has already been distracted by the new task of fixing Callisto’s braid, so he doesn’t respond to this. To compensate for this, Ark crumples up his napkin and flings it directly at Lily’s forehead.

(And, even if Lily shrieks loudly in outrage, and Val is forced to cover her ears with a wince, it is worth it to hear Callisto’s joyful laugh.)

At the fair, Dude’s face scrunches up. Before, Ark would have thought he was constipated. Now, he knows it’s just a look of intense concentration.

(Some distant part of him is intrigued, but the rest feels a little bit of fear.)

“I’m going to win you a toy!” Dude declares suddenly, in a burst of passionate enthusiasm.

“Why?” Ark gawks. He is struck by how refreshingly domestic this notion is. Sure, Dude is a domestic kind of guy, one that takes better to baking treats and washing dishes than to wrestling and cracking open cold ones, but it still is rather surprising. And kinda cute, really.

(Oh, god, he hopes no one telepathic heard that, or they’d think him a garden variety sap.)

“Because I can.” The unspoken ‘duh!’ is blatant. “And it won’t be a small one either! It’s going to be huge. You wait and see!”

When Dude is like this, Ark knows well that no one can sway him away from the goal he has set for himself. He’ll either succeed, or fail spectacularly. What result it will be this time isn’t immediately clear, but as Ark gazes at his gleaming smile, a sinking feeling takes root in his stomach.

From his few years of experience, Ark knows success at any fair game takes real skill. And although he can't deny that Dude is talented in his own little ways, he doesn’t think those talents will be what are needed to best the ingenuity of the fair game runners.

He doesn’t say anything about this though. There is cruel and then there is cruel, and he is certain that voicing his doubts about Dude’s abilities falls into the latter category. He’ll leave it up to the test of the games.

Dude is not a bad thrower, but he isn’t particularly good at it either. That much is made clear when he fails at knocking down all of the bottles in the allotted three throws.

For a brief moment, a flicker of disappointment crosses his face. Then, it is extinguished, and his smile ignites anew. “Aw, that’s too bad! On to the next one.”

Dude is a rather sensible person, Ark thinks, regardless of his sudden bouts of zeal. He knows well not to waste all of his spending money in one place. The runner sags with disappointment as they realize this too. On to the next one it is.

Game after game, Dude tries his best. Game after game, his best is proven to not be enough.

At first, he doesn’t see this as much of a loss. Anyone can see how utterly confident he is that at the next game, the very next one, he’ll win Ark the best toy out of the bunch. His losses don’t matter, because he is sure to prevail when the next challenge arises.

But, as the games he hasn’t attempted dwindle, Dude seems more and more discouraged. The spark in his eyes flicker. As the failures pile up, doubt begins to grow, and it easily takes root in his lean frame.

Ark finds his determination endearing at first. The feeling of seeing someone try so hard on your behavior is one that gives off a lovely warmth.

Even so, as Dude begins to look more and more crushed by his losses, anger takes hold. The game owners are taking delight in his frustration, and Ark is miffed. How dare they snicker quietly at Dude’s inability to fish up the right duck? How dare they…

Dude sags, defeated. “I’m sorry. I guess these games are a little too hard for me.” He apologizes, despondent by his inability to win anything.

This only serves as more fuel for Ark’s fire. “No need to apologize.” He says gruffly before flashing one of his signature cocky smirks. “We still have one more game we can do.”

“We…?” Dude says uncertainly, though there is a slight reddish tinge to his cheeks.

“Yeah. There’s still the shooting game. And I’m going to get the world’s biggest toy for you.”

“What- no! Aw, Ark, that’s really sweet, but I can’t accept that! I was supposed to win you something!”

Ark pats him gently, but still rather dismissively, on the pile of fluff Dude calls ‘hair’. “Don’t worry about that. Doesn’t matter anyway.” He isn’t too fussed by the prospect of not receiving some boring yellow cyclops in overalls. If anyone deserves a ridiculously huge thing to cuddle with before it inevitably falls apart, it’s a stubborn guy like Dude.

“Still,” Dude attempts to protest, “I’d hate for you to feel obligated to get me something.”

“Obligated?” The word feels funny in his mouth. “Nah, it’s not because of anything like that. You just deserve something, is all.”

Before the other boy can say anything else, Ark stomps up to the shooting game, eyeing the fair game runner maliciously. Year after year, this very same person comes back. Year after year, he tries to improve his game. Year after year, Ark beats the crud out of it and him (for once, this is entirely metaphorical).

“Damn it, Ark, you won’t best me this time!” He’s like a broken record, that guy. Regardless, he snatches up the money Ark slaps down, and cradles it. “No one’s been able to win this alllll day! It’s impossible now!”

“Oh, go fuck yourself, Marvin.” He grips the gun as tightly as he dares, and takes aim.

Marvin weeps as he hands over the biggest toy he has. A true testament to ridiculousness, it is a huge green alien, one some dork with headphones probably wants more than anything else in his entire life.

Dude takes the alien reverently, traces one black eye with a finger, and then looks up, eyes watering. Suddenly sheepish, Ark averts his gaze.

“Thank you.” Dude breathes before something seems to dawn on him. “Oh no! We haven’t gone on the Ferris wheel yet!”

The look of distress on his face is a bit of an out for Ark. Good. Now, he can latch onto this, and avoid talking about anything important like feelings! Genius!

“I’ll race ya!” Ark challenges him, knowing full well that Dude will probably lose, weighed down as he is by the stuffed alien.

“Not fair!” Dude pouts before taking off, leaving Ark in the dust.

“Wow, you cheat!” He laughs and gives chase.

And, although the ride itself is awkward, even though Dude chastises him loudly for swearing in public (and Ark is vaguely certain that other people can hear them, judging by the snickers), and they get stuck at the top, he finds that he doesn’t really mind.

It’s all worth it because he got the chance to bask in Dude’s gratitude, even if only for a moment. And that is enough.