User blog:Rai-Knightshade/Happy Day-Before-Discount-Candy-Sales, Valentines!

WARNING
Content warning: there's some semi-NSFW stuff in here including references to sexy times, Stockholm Syndrome, and Bestiality. By mention I mean literally I just use those words so there's absolutely nothing graphic about it, but you HAVE been warned anyways.

Purpose of this Blog
There'll be images to come (hopefully) but in the mean time have some hella cringey Valentine's Day quotes from my characters:

Arion
"I'd sell my tongue for you valentine!"

- spoiler alert: he wouldn't

"I'd save you from a shipwreck, fall in love with you, sell my tongue for legs to be on land with you, and throw myself into the ocean to drown when you don't return my feelings if it means I get to spend some time with you valentine!"

- (He wouldn't actually do that so don't hold him to that)

"I'd almost reconsider my self-imposed exile from people for you valentine. .......almost."

- ...yeah that's more accurate

"I'm salty, you're salty... lets be saltmates."

- Saltmates are the ultimate form of love you know, even above soulmates

Andre
"Trust me valentine, that myth that imps are tiny creatures is completely false when it comes to me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

- Gah this is so cringey

Rose
"I'd absolutely fall victim to stockholm syndrome for you valentine!"

- ...and probably bestiality with how dark fairy tales can be

"A little birdie told me you're a beauty on the street and a beast in the sheets, valentine. <3"

- ...this got way more sexual than intended, whoops

"Je parle français à mes amants, Valentine."

- I speak French to my lovers, Valentine. ;)

Anteros
"I'll be your knight in shining armor valentine!"

- what a sweetheart

"I'd search the ends of the earth for you valentine... even if all I have to go off of is a glass shoe."

- he's very dapper. too dapper to function really

"I'm a gentleman in and out of the sheets valentine.... wait no that's not sexy. crap."

- he fails horribly at flirting but its ok

Venetia
"Roses are red, violets are blue...I think. They might be green? I can't tell the difference please help valentine."

- I need to utilize her color blindness more jeez

"Love is blind, valentine... and so am I to an extent. Seriously, does this flower look yellow or purple to you?"

- Tbh the jokes write themselves

"I'd love you even if you were an invisible love god valentine."

- ...there's probably a stockholm syndrome joke in there too

"Did you know that I can't see your fateline valentine? ...wAIT NO THATS A GOOD THING THAT MEANS WE'RE TIED TOGETHER PLZ DON'T CRY-"

- Venetia istg how do you even function

To Be Continued....
With more horrible puns, pictures, and gratuitous use of comic sans and a lack of capitalization. You have been warned.