User blog comment:Patchworks Inc/oc fun: tale telling, snow white/@comment-31597382-20181107123717

I've decided to do this with Blanche

Blanche Weischlange: "Snow White? I obviously know Snow White, I think everyone does. There was this queen, you see, this queen's sewing, and pricks her finger. She opnes the window and cools it, cause of course you know it's snowing, and then said, oh if only I had a child with skin as white as snow...blah blah blah. You know the drill. Well, she has one and names her Snow White, but then dies shortly afterwards. And then the king has to of course marry again! And eh marries an evil queen. (Question: why would he not know at least something was up with his fiance before they married?) So this queen is obseesed with being more beautiful than anyone. Because you know, of course she is. She's got this weird magic mirror thing that tells her one day that Snow WHite is prettier than her. Now why'd he have to go and say that?!

The queen decides no one more beautiful than her must live! She sends a hunter to kill her, but he can't do it, (he's got a conscience unlike the queen it seems). She hides with seven little men and basically becomes their maid. (which is not a fair bargain in my opinion). The queen realizes she's still alive, and disguises herself as an old beggar woman, and for whatever eason, Snow White was completely fooled. (Who sells apples door to door in the middle of the forest?) She ate the apple and of course it's poisoned so she dies.

The dwarves put her in a glass coffin instead of burying her (don't ask me why), and ten this prince comes along, and kisses her. (Does anyone else think it's creepy to kiss a deadperson or is it just me?) Of course she wakes up and they live happily ever after. The Evil Queen hears of this, and throws a temper tantrum, before shattering the mirror and losing her power and beauty.