User blog:DatAsymptote/What to do when you're genuinely unhappy with the concept of a character, but you don't want to change her?

Wow, long time no personal, non-adminy blog.

I have OC troubles. Granted, I frequently have OC troubles - but here's one that has been plaguing me for literal years.

I love Pythia Adalinda as a character. I would count her as one of my "originals" - ie, she's been around since tumblr RP days, and I've refused to let go of her since. I love her design, I love writing her speaking style, I love her bubbly enthusiasm and hobbies and habits.

However, who is she as a character? I don't know, and if I, the creator, doesn't get Pythia as a character, then how is anyone else supposed to???? This is highly frustrating.

A little backstory. Pythia never had any hobbies beyond politics, or served any purpose beyond being an empty, performative, social justice voicebox.
 * I made Pythia in 2014?? This was when I RPed as EAH characters on tumblr, where Pythia had her own blog where she roleplayed with other characters in the EAH universe.
 * She started out as a sweet and idealistic princess. She was then quite fond of pranks and pulling larks on people. [pun not intended].
 * When 2015 rolled around, I became more active on the Wikia again. During 2015, a social justice-sque spirit was abound. Pythia always had lesbian mothers, Pythia was always a princess of colour, so naturally, sixteen-year-old Zena decided to make the swell choice of turning Pythia into a social justice warrior.
 * Later, I realised I wanted Pythia less as an activist amongst the people, but rather a political princess who lead the people.
 * And that is where I'm stuck.

Yes, I could make some sort of commentary on being performative, or whatever. But I feel like it would be hurtful to have a black girl be at the front of all that. I already have Radiant making biting remarks, and I don't want this to be like... a trend or a trope within my OCs.

Anyway, recently, over time, I've realised a few new things about Pythia as a character.
 * She's adminstrative. She likes paperwork, she likes it when things are in line and organised and proper.
 * She's fond of the system. She thinks destiny is the logical way to progress.
 * She speaks of destiny as a "necessary evil".
 * She's very certain about herself - certain about her own worth and abilities and refuses to let people undermine her.

And, as posted as a comment on Hidden's blog post, I've realised this:
 * I would have better things to say about Pythia had she not been a social justice warrior nod from back in 2015. But really, she's lovely, I swear. What compells me about Pythia is how vision differs from reality. On the outside, she appears this justified, perfect politician of a girl, but on the inside, she's still so corporate and part of the system and awkward about change and moving on. She's... I'm not going to say she's a snake because she's genuinely sweet, and she's far from malicious to be called a villain, but she represents that sense of neutrality. The one where you do nothing but stand by and offer some empty comforting words. The one where you make change so it looks good on a CV.

Still, Pythia still feels like a shell of a character, and isn't fully solidified. At one point, I was engaged with her as a character, I was excited about her development and doing more with her. Why is this not the case now?

Here are the things I want to happen. I don't really know why I made this blog. I guess it's to rant/vent this out, but I'm also open to ideas, suggestions, whatever advice you have or your personal experiences with sometimes.
 * I don't want to get rid of Pythia
 * I don't want to lose interest in Pythia
 * I want Pythia to maintain her pink, political, business-like aesthetic.
 * I don't want Pythia to be an empty voicebox, because I feel like that's just not the right way to do things.
 * I want Pythia to be an OC in her own right.