User blog comment:Vinnnn/Character Critiques, Tips, and Hints/@comment-26475304-20150826013100/@comment-33209858-20150826033717

Oh, you're not bothering me at all! After all, I'm here to help~ As for critiques, I'll get right to it, starting with Sally!

I enjoyed reading through her personality - There were three good paragraphs, and it balanced out her positive and negative traits very nicely. I like how you also gave examples of her traits, which really helped show her true character more. Something I'd like to see is her stance on destiny. In the first paragraph, it is mentioned briefly, but perhaps you could expand on that a bit more? For example, why does she like her destiny? Does she have any qualms about it? How does she feel about it being a "minor" role? Questions like that will help flesh her out even more

As for her relationships, I'd like to see more on all of them - especially her parents. Her mother spoiling her was mentioned in her personality section, but I'd like to see more about their relationship. Does Sally like being spoiled? Does she like her mother? Does she have any siblings? If so, how does she feel about them?

I liked Sally's quotes, as well as reading through her infobox, as they both helped give even more insight into her character. I like how you write Sally's dialogue as very little-girly and young, as it really fits her character. I think the only thing I'd watch out for overall is grammar and spelling. Obviously it's not a big deal, and doesn't take anything away from Sally as a character, but it is more aesthetically pleasing, so it's something to consider.

And now, onto my review for Bea!

Once again, I enjoyed reading through her personality! Something I particularly liked was how all of your characters are different and stand out from each other, instead of them all having the exact same static personality - so props to you for that! However, I feel like Bea's personality mostly focuses on her negative aspects, and not her positive ones. I do like her overall personality of being manipulative and sneaky, but I'd like to see some positive traits as well! For example, is she highly intelligent? Is she charismatic? Is she vivacious? Finding a good balance between positives and flaws can be a little tricky, but everyone has 'em - even fictional characters.

I also noticed that you mentioned Bea had very low self-esteem, which caused her to be mean. I really liked that tidbit, because it's very realistic! But I'd love to see more expanded on it. When did her low self-esteem start? What caused it? etc. etc. I feel like that's definitely a big factor into her personality, so expanding more on that will help expand on her general character as well!

I like the tension between Bea and her brother, Jack. However, how does Jack feel about her? And how does Bea feeling about her father? It's said that her father doesn't support her like her mother did, so what's their relationship? Is her father the reason why Bea has low self-esteem? Under her Trivia section, it implies that Bea wants to impress her father, so I'm guessing they can't be on too great of relations, so more than that would be excellent! And since backstory seems to effect Bea a lot, I'd suggest adding more onto all her relationships as well, especially when it comes to her family.

Okay, those are my thoughts on your OCs. Overall, I think their personality sections are pretty solid, although I'd like to see more expansion about their relationships and possibly even backstories, especially Bea. But, overall, good job!

As for Andrea, I do have a couple of ideas! The first is:

Pros: Free-thinking, open-minded, spirited, humorous | Cons: Immature, airheaded, irresponsible, flighty

So, you could make her very sociable, hearty, and full of good cheer, but also not the brightest of the bunch. Perhaps she's a little slow to catch onto hints, or she might be oblivious to certain things. She's kind and well-liked, but everyone sort of knows she's not the smartest. She could also be open-minded in this sense - very accepting of most things, since she might not even fully understand them - as well as being flighty, though. So, maybe she changes her thoughts and opinions on things very quickly, so she could also be called irresponsible or easily distracted

Pros: Rebellious, inquisitive, tough, down-to-earth | Cons: Flippant, airheaded, forgetful, inconsiderate

Working with the motorcycle idea, you could make her more rebellious and a "fight the man" sort of girl. For example, she's tough and hardy, although down-to-earth and easy to talk to when you get to know her. Maybe she likes to act all tough and confident because she's not the smartest person around, and feels like if anyone knew then they'd make fun of her - so it's like her defense mechanism. Maybe she might even say some mean or inconsiderate things accidentally. Perhaps she's someone who questions authority, although this might make her flippant and irresponsible when she chooses to act against it.

That's all the ideas I could think of with what you've already written for her. So hopefully you'll like some of the ideas I mentioned ^^ If not, just let me know and I'll try again!