User blog:Breannamation/I'm sorry

I know this feels a little whiny, but I feel I need to let my feelings out.



I know my character Carmen Rosenrot has several flaws in her creation. I can see that clearer now, and I do appreciate that people are giving me advice, but I have walls that seem to be crumbling. I want to make her as good as possible, but it seems that I can't make her as good as I wanted to. I know I have made mistakes in her creation, whether it's her parentage or her personality, but I want to patch things up and clear things up. I will be explaining what I mean exactly, and it's way too much for a comment.

First of all, I apologise for my own behaviour relating to this. I was honestly very scared. I had never received this kind of criticism about one of my characters, and especially from people that I trusted. It was completely wrong how I reacted to that. None of the people who commented are to blame for that, I can admit. That was all angry bitchflip me. Honestly, I am ashamed of what I did and I apologise for it.

However, I want to clear all of the flaws I unleashed. Here are FULL explanations. I wish I could change her completely to make her devoid of these flaws, but I simply feel that it wouldn't be right. I love this character. She's my favourite out of my characters. I love writing her mirror blog and thinking of if someone came up to her, then what curse-filled sentence she would respond with. It just doesn't seem right. But I can try and clear some of her flaws, so that she is much more of this wiki's quality. I'm sorry if I've been a pain, but I needed to get this out.
 * 1) Carmen is the daughter of Rose Red from Snow White and Rose Red. I admit, Apple SHOULD be completely unrelated to her, but I felt completely as if Carmen needed to reflect my own opinion of how it was a little unfair to Rose Red in the tale. Also, I really was not up to making SW&RR's Snow White's daughter, since this would confuse me extensively.  So I merged the two tales and made Apple and Carmen related. They were originally sisters but I changed it to cousins. I can admit that was wrong, and I have made a reason to why the tales end up related, in-universe. I apologise completely.
 * 2) The riches. That plays a huge part in Carmen's character and it fuels her bitterness. I may have overplayed her not getting the riches, but I will explain why. In the fanon, the tales were twisted so that Apple became Carmen's cousin, yet both sisters never questioned the oddity of this (again, another flaw). This manipulated Carmen into thinking she was not getting a fair deal. It is also the situation of marrying the brother that made me decide on Carmen's personality. It seems to bug me in the original tale, so I saw no reason why it wouldn't be a problem for Carmen.
 * 3) The masochism. This was a HUGE topic that I have trouble explaining, but I will try. Carmen is quite masochistic in a sense that she likes to make herself feel bad about not having Apple's popularity, but it's not full on cutting and bruising. It certainly isn't anything to do with sexual matters either. In Carmen's case, it is her self-pity and odd enjoyment of it. I have tried to make this less of an element in Carmen's character, as she'll only really say the odd quote like 'How I would love to be dead right now' but not in a serious way. I really did not mean to offend anyone, and I feel as if I have portrayed Carmen in the wrong way.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.