Talk:Fawn Darby/@comment-27235572-20151103014007

Hi, Beauty! You asked for a critique and I shall deliver (this just reminded me that I have to review Leah too)!

Overall, very nice, well rounded OC. Has a neatly done personality and while the other sections are brief at best, I'm sure you'll add more since she is a WIP~ Oh, and make sure to go over it and fix some errors I noticed that I'll list because you gave me free reign. *evil laugh*

In the very first quote, punctuation in it should be used. For example "I'll do it later..." or "I'll do it later!" is very different, aye? Oh, and Shield is Shield, not Sheild.

Stubborn is not stubbern. You don't need to repeat the same thing in three sentences as well, by the way. And your should be you're if you decide to keep that sentence.

The next quote should be either "No, I'm not mad at you...", "No, I'm not mad at you." or "No, I'm not mad at you!". It depends on what you feel is best. Or should be of in the first sentence about criticizing her opinions. Its should be it's.

Isnt should be isn't. Quit should be quiet and there should be a comma after it. Dont should be don't and im should be I'm. Oh, and the last sentence is that paragraph should be "actually shy" rather than "actually being shy". I'll do more later, my fingers are dying.