User blog comment:Patchworks Inc/oc fun: tale telling, snow white/@comment-29969851-20181107103023

Oh ! Wild Schwanne appeared !

Schwanne von Rothbart : "Snow White ? REALLY ? (yawns) Okay. So basically a queen has a pretty daughter with lips as red as blood, hair as black as ebony and skin as white as snow. How BORING, ernst ! The small problem is that the queen dies. Wow, I'm saaaaaad. (yawns) So the king marries another queen, who's evil. Ah ! Now it becomes interesting, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! (composes herself) The queen's mirror tell her that Snow White is "the fairest of them all". So the queen has a reaction that anyone would have in such a situation : she wants to kill Snow White. Good point here ! I'd kill her too. Let's kill people together ! Hum. The queens tells her hunter to kill Snow White but he hasn't the balls to do it. Wenig Natur ! I'd have killed her right at the moment i'd have seen her. Anyway, next ! Snow runs in the forest -because a forest is really safe, that's well-known. She befriends seven dwarves (also, we don't say a dwarf. We say "a small person".) The queen attemps to kill the princess three times. THREE TIMES ? THREE TIMES ? Hey, i'd have succeeded at the first try ! Just give me a good knife and- Hum. She succeeds with the apple and then Snow is dead.

THE END ! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! (lightning noise)

Ugh, I'd have liked it. But nope ! A Prince Charming passes by, kisses Snow White -uh, did he kiss her while she was DEAD ? He's a psycho, or how is it ? Snow White wakes up, they live happily ever after, everyone's happy, yippee hooray. (runs at the toilet to throw up.)