User blog comment:EtherealNyx/Advice With Nyx *OPEN NOW*/@comment-26890640-20150830152317/@comment-27235572-20150830155011

Yes, certainly! (This reply will be broken up into three sections: Catrin/Fate, Montana/An and Mira/Bonny, ok?) I'll start with Catrin and Fate first.

There needs to be a LOT of development for these two, but let's start with Catrin. She's a skeptic, but what is she skeptical of? What will she never ever believe under any circumstances?

She also seems to be quite impulsive and this gets her in trouble. Is she aware of her self-destructive behavior? Not only that, but she strives to enjoy herself in life. What makes her happy? What types of risks does she take? What type of situations does she get herself into?

What does she want to prove to others? Is she completely independent to the point of refusing help from the people she needs help from the most? Is she prideful? Is she the type not to listen to people's misgivings or her intuition?

I also noticed some contradictions. Being civil normally means you won't argue or debate with someone if they disagree with you. Maybe, put that she tries to be civil, but finds it to be difficult.

Also, if she enjoys every activity, she would enjoy domestic skills. Therefore, try to define what she likes to do besides cooking, sewing, etc.

I'd like to see more details with her appearance, her story and her family. Does she treat members of her family differently? Does she have any siblings? Does she have cousins? Just expanding on her character is my challenge to you.

On to Fate!

She's a mother hen. Does that mean she's maternal to everyone or just her friends? She worries, but about what? School? Life? Safety? You need to elaborate on these issues. A voice of reason... To who? To everyone who she talks to or just to people she trusts?

I can get why she feels bound by destiny, but you shouldn't make her so passive-aggressive since it goes against her nature to be cruel. Also, back to Catrin. Does Fate's hot and cold antics bother her or does she find it humorous?

She likes domestic chores, huh. Well, does she try teaching Catrin these skills? Is that another reason why Catrin dislikes them? Is Fate self-sufficient because of possessing these skills? Who taught them to her?

Oh, and "noone" should be no one. Just saying!

For her appearance we need more than strangely colored skin. What's so strange about it? I liked the information on her destiny: it was very neat and unique.

These two are very nice characters, but they need to be expanded. I will start writing the next critique now. I hope this helps!