User blog comment:Vinnnn/Character Critiques, Tips, and Hints/@comment-27267699-20150530235817/@comment-33209858-20150601220215

Of course - I'd be more than glad to help!

Okay, so Harense is a great character! I like his personality - And I like how he's a different sort of winner. Also, bless your soul for making a trans character. You do not see a lot of those around these parts. Representation is always good for the soul!

I think you could add more to his personality, though. How come he's so different from his father? Normally, kids pick up traits from their parents. Could it be perhaps he saw how his father acted and was scared of it and vowed to never be like him? Or maybe he rarely ever saw his father growing up and was mainly around his mother, and so he's more like her. Of course, these are just ideas I'm sort of throwing around, you don't have to use them at all~

Oh, and since he is trans, I'd like to see more expanded upon that. Is he ever bullied? How does his friends/family feel about it? How does it affect him as a person? I'd also like to see more expanded about his family - perhaps more about his siblings? How does he interact with them? Do they get along well? Just tiny tadbits to give more insight into your character is always welcome! I mean, you could even go ahead and add what other hobbies and interests he likes! Or any sort of school club acitivies he joins, or what he likes to do in his free time. Just little stuff like that definitely helps with character development~

And now for Tortishia~

First of all, cute name! I like how you made a perfect balance between being as slow as a hare, and as quick as a rabbit (intelligence-wise). It's a very good mix and a really nice allusion to her tale. I enjoy her brainiac perspetive, and as well as the fact that she needs to "come out of her shell more". I'm wondering if she wants to come out of her sheel. I notice that you mentioned she isolates herself because of her shyness - How does this affect her relationships? I know that I tend to isolate myself a lot, and sometimes I've managed to lose plenty of friends simply because I was too shy to reach out. I'd like to see more about how she handles her shyness, whether it be in a positive or negative way

Her appearance and design is super adorable as well! I love the turtleneck sweater she wears! Her motifs are great and fit her tale extremely well. Also, yay more POC representation~ It's always nice to see it here in the fandom!

Some things I'd like to see: How she feels about the Royal vs Rebel conflict, her relationships, perhaps any other interests other than reading, and possibly more EAH lingo in her infobox (that's a minor detail, not really necessary but always fun to see!).

You, my dear, have two very well-written OCs here! I had to really nitpick here and there to find anything negative. I love how diverse they are, and also how they manage to fit well into the Ever After High universe. Hopefully my critique helped in some way, and if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask me anytime!