Epic Rap Battles of Ever After High/Star Thalergeld vs. Akito Takenaka

The uproarious success of their first rap battle-- unconventional though it may be-- had led, the weekend following, to another gathering of students deep, deep beneath the surface of Ever After High, down within the classrooms  and caverns typically used for Dungeon Navigation courses.

Blondie Lockes was not a cave sort of girl, despite bears' proclivities for that sort of locale. Still... the showing had been such a success that she was unsure if she could afford to stop organizing these events. And thus, that Saturday found her atop the stage, with Melody Piper on backbeat, the crowds screaming for more.

"Hello, Ever After High!" she shouted, enthusiasm within her every vein. "You guys submitted your votes, and we heard you! Are you ready for the results?"

The crowd hollered excitedly, and Melody grinned as she dropped the beat, turning it up as high as it would go until the audience quieted-- until they made way for Blondie's voice to cut through over the speakers.

"Blondie Lockes here, welcoming all of you to the second showing of a brand new tradition..." Blondie's eyes gleamed with a newfound joy, "Epic Rap Battles of Ever After High!"

--x-x-x-x-x--

BLONDIE LOCKES

And by viewer voting, here they are…

The students YOU asked for!

Star Thalergeld

Versus

Akito Takenaka!

Begin!

STAR THALERGELD

I'm about to turn your universe upside down

Cause when you pose a challenge, I'll never back down!

I'm like Polaris, I'll rise from the panhandle

Next to my light, you couldn't hold a candle

You're a boy from the moon

But you've gotta be loony

Don't bother to battle

Cause I know what I'm doing

I'm a star in the sky, and I'm burning bright

Don't show up with a match to a flamethrower fight!

AKITO TAKENAKA

It's a battle I'll give if that's what you desire

But take care not to overfuel your fire

They who burn brightest

Burn quickest, burn shortest;

I'm a rapping god,

And this imperial court is

My domain, you're getting Nursery Slammed

Don't try to keep up or soon your tongue'll be jammed

And you'll wipe yourself out before I'm halfway through

My words are a hatchet and your ego's bamboo

STAR THALERGELD

Imperious?

Ha! More like delirious

I can't even tell if you're joking or serious

You're a nerdy, wordy air sign and you know that it's true,

Under "typical Gemini," a picture of you

Is in the dictionary

It's a rote definition

But though you talk the talk

You lack the mission

Lack the ambition for a bullseye sight

Sagittarius rising on my birthday night

I've got high, high hopes and I'm spitting flame

My fire sign shines bright like my name

Up in lights-- I'm the Thalergeld Star

Gonna honor my destiny and take it far!

AKITO TAKENAKA

The zodiac's only half the story,

Give lunar signs their due glory!

STAR THALERGELD

I'm an astrologer--

I take no pretenders

But the hour of a birth

Nobody remembers

You'd know, you're an expert on forgetting details

Cause it wouldn't be the first time your memory fails

AKITO TAKENAKA

Everybody forgets things once in awhile,

It looks like you're getting heated so why don't I dial

It back to earth and the moon and the sky

And their eternal glory long after you die

They watch over all the earth with intent to protect

So look at the stars with all due respect

'Cause it's crazy,

Almost like your story's a prank

Treating the lights of the gods

As your personal bank

You've got a tale of generosity, you’re a herald of greed

By gathering, stockpiling far more things than you need

You might seem a shooting star,

But you're ready to crash

By the way, when was the last time

You threw out the trash?

STAR THALERGELD

Hey! That's not trash!

It's... sentimental stuff!

AKITO TAKENAKA

I'll patch a call to Hoarders,

Enough is enough

Only check your pockets-- is that a broken-off cork?

An empty gum (w)rapper? Last week's used fork?

Your sentimental value myth is promptly debunked

I'll kindly toss you out with the rest of the junk

And I'll end this slaughter as my final boon

Perhaps I'll let you beat me... once in a blue moon.

BLONDIE LOCKES

Who won?? Who's next?

You decide!

Epic--

--x-x-x-x-x--

She lifted the microphone, and the crowd took that as their cue: "Epic!"

--x-x-x-x-x--

BLONDIE LOCKES

Rap Battles of Ever After Hiiiiiiiigh!

--x-x-x-x-x--

+1

--x-x-x-x-x--

"... so," began Akito, turning his face to the side curiously. "No hard feelings?"

"Maybe... if the voters agree that I won," Star laughed a little, winking to show that she was joking. "Anyways, I heard that there's supposed to be a really good sighting of Mars tonight. I'm gonna bring my telescope to the Astronomy classroom and see if I can take a look. Wanna borrow it?"

"Can I bring a few friends?" something lit up excitedly in his eyes. "There's supposed to be a really clear view of the Milky Way, too, and I know for sure my girlfriend would love to see it."

"Of course," Star beamed. "The more the merrier! I'll bring snacks. After all... the only thing better than astronomy is astronomy among friends."

A slow smile quirked up at the end of Akito's mouth. "So... you didn't really forget your moon sign, did you?"

"I would never," Star replied, and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.