Thread:DatAsymptote/@comment-7195625-20140225235349/@comment-14800267-20140301021934

Okay several things.

Firstly, on the video game/favourite character influence. I'll be careful not to soapbox on the topic, as character psychology and how it interconnects with people's psyche is one of my favourite areas of personal study- I've done a tonne of research on the topic.

Taking he one single game and the one single character to define a person does not work. People connect with characters for various reasons, and on the most part they're not OBVIOUS reasons, even to the person themselves. You CAN read a person by the characters they like, but you need enough of them to work out the common threads, and those usually aren't things as simple as "They're violent"

"We have to get over the killing thing" ... Yes, it was clearly an empty threat, but no, we shouldn't just wave it away. I've seen coworkers FIRED FROM THEIR JOBS for less. You do not do that, even a nine year old should know that.

She might be the loveliest, sweetest girl in the world in real life. But we're on a wikia board on the internet where she has behaved repeatedly atrociously. How she treats other people in other places is a completely moot point, we weren't there, that wasn't us and we have only your word for it.

People can't help being who they are... actually they can, but I won't get into that. If people are horrid, if they're liars, if they have a temper or treat you badly YOU ARE NOT TO SHUG IT OFF AS "JUST WHO THEY ARE". This is so so very important! I'll tell you a short story to explain why- I beg of you all to read because it's something that happens to hundreds of thousands of kind hearted souls trying to be good people. I don't want it to happen to anyone else if I can avoid it

I had a friend in school, she came from a poor family with a mother and grandmother who constantly gave her foolish advice and indulged her when they could. She was very overweight, had grubby clothing and obviously tried to look after herself, but wasn't very good at it, but she was very cheerful and friendly so I became her friend.

Unfortunately, she was one of those people that need other people to live for them. She'd listen to thesame music, buy the same clothing, same shoes, same make up in a desperate attempt to fit in. That was okay though, I understood why and let it past, gently encouraging her to do her own things.

Then she started lying, telling us about imaginary boyfriends and friends and concerts she'd been to. None of our group gave a flying fardle about boyfriends or bands or anything like that, so it was strange, but hey, it was just the way she was.

The she started lying to each of us about things she'd overheard us say about each other, and allegedly horrible things we'dsay to her. As nice people we got very indignant on her behalf and as a group, we started becoming distrusting and angry with each other. But we also knew stirring things up was her way of making us all see her as the better friend. She was insecure, it was just her personality,

She started asking for help to lose weight, then would get angry and unpleasant when it didn't work (because she never did it properly. She'd eat well for a day, then have junk food the next and never ever exercise) and blame us for giving her bad advice. She just wanted to blame someone for her weight issues rather than face her own contributions- so we let it past, it was just her personality.

She'd invite us to meet up for coffee or dinner and not show up, because she had "better things to do", and we knew sh did that just to look important to us. It was just her personality.

It went on like this, worse and worse for six years. The final straw came after I came back from living abroad for two years. I hadn't seen any of my friends for those two years, so I arranged to meet up with her at a chocolate shop. I had managed to get a job just beforehand, and went to great lengths to take the day off specifically to honour this meeting.

She never showed up.

Calling her house, I found out from her grandmother she was at work, and she always had work at that time and day. She KNEW she wouldn't make it.

In a rage I called a friend who lived nearby, a friend I had argued with and had the most problems with becasue of this girl. We barely spoke anymore, but I was so very angry, I needed to vent at someone. She drove down immediately. It turnsed out she had ALSO arranged to meet her at the same place an hour after she'd met up with me.

I never spoke to that friend again after that because it was then I realised that yes, it WAS "just" her personality, but that was no excuse to let her be awful to all of us. Yes, she was desperate to look good in our eyes, yes she felt inadequite and shy, but it was no excuse to lie and fume and use us like she did. They were HER problems to deal with, not ours, and if she had come to us for help we would have given it, but you simply CAN NOT help those who won't admit they have issues, and you CAN NOT let people treat you with that level of rudeness and disrespect, no matter their personal demons. You're not helping them. By letting her do all those things, we made doing them justified and okay. It's the same with Superlady/AliceMadnessReturns. Her problems are her own, and we as a group or individuals should not have to shoulder her attitude simply becasue she's "just like that" or she has persona issues.

In a nice subtext, the friend that I was fighting with all the time because of this toxic person became a close friend, and she still is to this day.