Talk:Rolana Candeliere/@comment-24801529-20140804014438

Okay, since you asked for it, here is my critique. Here we go...................

My main problem is a subtle but big one; the tone of the character. By most of the description, she seems to not be a tragic character, but for most of the rest of the page is all sad and tragic stuff. So, is she a tragic character or a happy one? I'd suggest you'd either add more affecting elements of the said tragedy, or just removing the tragedy in general.

I also see, espicially in the asks, she seems like a character we want to feel sorry for just because she has no friends, but that seems due to her own accord of not really putting herself out there and not really trying to make any. I know its just because she's discriminated, but in the wording on said ask, it seems to look differently.

Also, from the last quote about pain and suffering, it seems like a simalar situation of Rolana not getting help due to being lazy rather than an actual signicant problem.

Her childhood section is also too tragic in my opinion. Like litterally, by the sound of it, its basically saying that Lana has never had joy in her entire life. I'd honestly suggest you add just a few more possible good things from it, good things that influenced her good qualities.

All in all, she's a good oc, but I think you definitley need to balance out the tragedy and good of her so she can be more well rounded and less of a "I have a tragic backstory so you automatically should totally feel bad for me" sort.

Okay, I hope you found this helpful! :D