User blog comment:EtherealNyx/Advice With Nyx *OPEN NOW*/@comment-31183517-20150830184254/@comment-27235572-20150830191118

Gladly!

First, I'm going to do the infobox. Please put a period at the end of the sentence "I'm 17 years old" or an exclamation point. Next, a period for "it's not bad". Maybe write for the desire "I wish I was a famous WooTuber/creepy tale writer! I also wish for a normal husband..." You should probably discard the "nothing with my role" bit.

"Horros" should be horror for both the storybook romance and the oh curses.

Now that I've been a Grammar Nazi, let's get into Sophie!

I'm going to first rewrite it and then, I'm going to critique it.

"Sophie isn't typical princess. She doesn't like wearing high heels, dresses, jewellery etc. She prefers comfortable outfits like tracksuit, too big t-shirts or blouses. Unfortunately she can't wear them. Sophie doesn't care about her appearance - that's why she doesn't wear too much make-up, when she doesn't have to. Time that girls normally spend on make up, she spends on eating or writing. She keeps forgetting about existence of other people, all because she often doesn't think about them. For her they aren't important, but her work is. It's not like she's socially awkward, no. Her sense of self-esteem is high enough to be hurt by other's words. She just doesn't find people as much interesting as her plans. Also she thinks That's the reason why people often treat her as an asocial weirdo. Other people may also doesn't like her, because she's way too honest. She doesn't think about what she says and she often sounds rude. All because she doesn't like to lie, no matter what other people would feel. She's very ambitious. If she wants to do something, she will. No matter how many blood she'll have to spill. Thanks God, her plans aren't about killing. She just want to be famous youtuber that is telling creepytales or write famous creepytale. Sophie is sure that one day it'll happen. But the princess is also lazy and it's hard for her to start doing everything. She often ends up watching new horror movie or eating her favourite nachos. It's also reason why she isn't great at school. She's just too lazy to do her homework as best as she could. It's also easy to make her bored." should be...

"Sophie isn't a typical princess. She doesn't like wearing high heels, dresses, jewellery etc. She prefers comfortable outfits like tracksuits, too big t-shirts or blouses. Unfortunately she can't wear them. Sophie doesn't care about her appearance - that's why she doesn't wear too much make-up, when she doesn't have to. The time that girls normally spend on make up, she spends on eating or writing.

She keeps forgetting about the existence of other people, all because she often doesn't think about them. To her they aren't important, but her work is. It's not like she's socially awkward, though. Her sense of self-esteem is high enough to be hurt by other's words. She just doesn't find people as much interesting as her plans.That's the reason why people often treat her as an antisocial weirdo.

Other people also don't like her, because she's way too honest. She doesn't think about what she says and she often sounds rude. It's all because she doesn't like to lie, no matter what people feel.

She's very ambitious. If she wants to do something, she will, mo matter how many blood she'll have to spill to achieve her goals. Luckily, her plans don't involve killing. She just wants to be a famous WooTuber that is telling creepytales or one that writes famous creepytales. Sophie is sure that one day it'll happen.

But the princess is also lazy and it's hard for her to start doing everything. She often ends up watching new horror movies or eating her favourite nachos. It's also a reason why she isn't great at school. She's just too lazy to do her homework as best as she could. It's also easy to make her bored."

Now, let's evaluate her personality.

I like how she is set apart from other princesses. However, why isn't she allowed to wear the clothes she wants? Who's stopping her? Does she care about the status quo and just wears clothes she dislikes to go along with what other people think?

When you say she doesn't care about her appearance, does that mean she's unhygienic? Does she go outside with bed head and doesn't mind the stares she may receive?

How forgetful are we talking here? Is she bad with names or faces? Or maybe both? Does she forget her friends too?

Finally, how does she try to accomplish her goals? What motivates her? How is she trying to fulfill her dreams? Details, details, details.

If she's lazy, that contradicts her ambition. Does she want something, but doesn't put in the effort? Elaboration is key.

Now, watching horrors should be watching horror movies. Otherwise, her hobbies are short, but sweet, even though we don't see why she enjoys doing these things. Try to have more details.

Again, her looks... Why doesn't she care about them and to what extent? Details and elaboration, yet again ^_^

Here are the rest of my corrections: "her mother would love to have a girly girl", " "a seriously rude weirdo" "her hobby is more important to her" and "she wanted to have a cat". Those are the correct versions, alright?

Overall, a good OC but more details, elaboration, motivation and spelling and grammar corrections. Don't worry about the English: even English speakers have issues with this kind of thing! ^_^