User blog comment:Vinnnn/Character Critiques, Tips, and Hints/@comment-3991308-20150613231056/@comment-33209858-20150614101728

Hey Zena! Of course I'd be happy to help~

So, I like Hya's personality and what you have of it so far. Perhaps you could expand a bit more on his insecurities - For example, is he just insecure about his choices as a leader, or does it expand to even smaller decisions like what he's having for breakfast? I like that he's a natural leader who is responsible, but he has this other side to him that's unsure and insecure - I think it's very realistic!

So, he's adaptable, responsible, a bit undecisive, but a natural leader nonetheless. A few other traits that could fit him are:

Generous/Helpful/Devoted - He's a natural leader and I could imagine him wanting what's best for his friends and one day, his royal subjects.

Optimistic/Pessimistic - Depending on how you want to write him, I'd say making him either an optimistic person or a pessimistic person would help with developing his personality more. For example, he could get really pessimistic about the choices he makes, thus leading him to be even more insecure about it

Pushover - I noticed that you said that Hyacinth is a team player. Well, there's always more people on a team, and I was wondering if any of those team members ever try to take advantage of him. It's a flaw that a bunch of people have - They just can't say "no" to a friend, and so instead they end up getting taken advantage of

Another tip I have for expanding characters is writing about their hobbies and interests, any quirks or habits they might have (good or bad), and their thoughts about certain things. Think about what clubs he would join, what sort of person he'd fall for, what his breaking point is for his temper, what sort of movies he likes to binge-watch, etc. etc. Little things like these really help me develop my own characters when I write about them

And now, onto Lea :D

I love Lea's design - It's so soft and pretty~ And I like her personality as well. I like how you mentioned that she tends to romanticise things that shouldn't be romanticised. I enjoy her old-fashioned way of thinking - Y'know, with her obsession with culture and romantisicm. It's something that I haven't seen in a character for a long time

I like her personality a lot! It's very well-written and it explained her personality and her nature very well without you having to ramble on and on. One thing that I'd recommend is perhaps expanding more on her other traits besides her romantisicm and artsy ones. I'd like to see more of her "sweet" side in the first paragraph. Just to flesh her out a bit more~

I'd also like to see more of her relationships, especially with Avian. I know they had that whole thing with the wedding and the awkward fight and everything, and I'd like to see Lea's perspective on that. Also, she's one of the few characters on here that doesn't have a destiny, like at all. I'd just like to see how someone would feel about that. I mean, they're in a world of fairytales, and if you're a "normal person" so to speak, where does that leave you? Personally, if I was in Lea's position, I'd be a pet peeved over not getting a destiny, but I'm not Lea.

Overall, I really like her! I'd just expand a bit more on some of her other positive traits and her relationships as well, just to add a bit more to her character. I think she's a lovely addition to your army of baes, Zena~