User blog comment:Vinnnn/Character Critiques, Tips, and Hints/@comment-26417994-20150611184223/@comment-33209858-20150612080340

Mkay, I'll start with reviewing Roma first~

My biggest suggestion is to write more about her: Write more about her personality - Add in her hobbies, her quirks, what she likes and dislikes, etc. etc. It's fun to flesh out your character by adding little bits and pieces to them that really makes them feel realistic, y'know? Also, why she does look up to the Wonderlandians? And what is her backstory? I noticed that you stated she was isolated for the first ten years of her life - Why was she isolated? And how does it affect her as a person today? Feel free to expand more on that!

Another suggestion is to add the "Fairy Tale" and "How Does Your Character Fit Into It?" sections on her page - That way, for those who haven't read/heard of Brother and Sister can see what it's all about~ Also, it could help explain why Roma is a Rebel and her reasoning behind it.

Oh, and before I forget, in her infobox I noticed that you stated she has a very weak immune system. Does this have something to do with her tale, or is it just something you added in? If it's the latter, why does she have a weak immune system? How does it affect her? How does she feel about it? Does she have to go to the nurse a lot or miss school a lot because she gets sick so easily? If that's the case, how does it affect her grades? etc. etc. I'd say add stuff like that into her personality section or even her trivia section, just to explain it a bit more. After all, you can never have too much character development~

With that all said, I'll get to critiquing Amy Ogress next!

I like the idea of a well-mannered, gentle ogress - It's definitely a twist from the type of ogress you would expect from a fairy tale. I do like her Southern Belle attitude - She's a lady, but has her own sassy streak to her. I'd suggest adding more to her personality, though. Feel free to add some flaws to her (maybe she has a short temper like an ogre?), and expand on her character more by adding her in her interests and hobbies.

I'm not entirely sure about her backstory. It seems really random to me - Why were they on a cruise ship? And why would the crew adopt her instead of sending her to an orphanage? And what about her father? He's never mentioned, so is he dead or what? I would say work on her backstory more, so that it just makes more sense.

And I'm wondering why she likes to bake. From what I've read from The Bee and the Orange Tree, the ogress didn't bake at all? So where did her love for baking come from? Also, perhaps add in somewhere how she feels about her tale and her destiny. Maybe you could even add in how she feels about being labelled as an antagonist, or the bad guy, simply because she's an ogress. And I'd suggest adding in the "Fairy Tale" section in her profile somewhere, for those who haven't read the Bee and the Orange Tree before~

And now, onto Heather!

There's not a lot on her page, so I can't really fully review her just yet. I like the outline for her personality, but like I said I'd try to expand more on that. A tip from me to you is to write as much about your character as you possibly can (but try to stay consistent). It's actually very fun to write about your characters - I know I do it quite a lot! In fact, for all of my characters I try to write, at the very least, three good paragraphs under their Personality section. If you can manage to do that, then you'll probably have a very fleshed out character~

I'd say work on her infobox first. If you fill that out, it will give you ideas for her personality and what she's really like. That's what I do with all my characters - Before I fully write out their personalities, I always fill out their infoboxes, and it gives me a general idea of what they're like.

I also noticed that you mentioned she lived with her aunt and cousins - Is there a reason for this? What happened to her parents? Is she close to her aunt and cousins? Why or why not? Always ask yourself more and more questions about your characters, and then answer them. That's another good way to expand more on each of your characters~

Well, that's all I have to say for now. Hopefully my reviews gave you some ideas to expand on your characters. Overall, I'd say they look pretty good - I would just work on writing more about them, just to develop them a bit more and make them really stand out C: