User blog comment:Vinnnn/Character Critiques, Tips, and Hints/@comment-26208189-20150528124115/@comment-33209858-20150529062212

Sorry for such a late reply - I've been at a con all day ^^" Anyways, let's get to reviewing Pepper first~

Now normally I'm not a huge fan of self-insert characters, or characters based on their creators (from what I've seen they end up like a more "I wish I was more like this" sort of thing, but that's something differently entirely). However, I think you managed to pull it off pretty well. In her personality, you managed to display both positive and negative traits, instead of just focusing on the positives. Although a "split personality" character is often cliche, you even call her out for being hypocritical. However, I'd watch "split personality" characters as sometimes they might not be written very well.

I also noticed that you seem to put "positive trait" and then "negative trait", which is a good way to balance out your character and not make them seem too perfect or anything. It's a tip that I use myself - I start with listing the positives and then counter with negatives to make the character more realistic.

However, I do notice that some of her traits sort of clash with each other. For example, it says she's a "soft-hearted girl" but resorts to violence when mad? That doesn't sound very soft-hearted to me. So perhaps you could rephrase that or perhaps explain why she resorts to violence - Perhaps she has a breaking point? Or a certain trigger? Just a small thing to think about.

The personality was a little bit long, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing! Expanding on your characters is great, especially when you put a lot of effort into their personality. As long as that personality is balanced with good and bad traits and realistic qualities, then I say write as much as you want~

For her appearance, I do like how wondrous she looks! Although, the first thing I picture when I hear the word 'pepper' is more warmer shades opposed to her more turquoise-based design. By no means I am telling you to change it, I just thought I'd add that in since I tend to associate pepper with colors like red, black, touches of brown, etc. (sort a bell pepper, or the pepper you might find in a pepper shaker). I do enjoy her Basic design as is though~

I'd also like to see more expanded about how she interacts with her mother. I think it's interesting that the Duchess's way of treating her daughter depends on the amount of pepper around. But how does this work, and why is it like that? And, most importantly, how does Pepper feel about this? Does she wish to be closer to her mother? Does she ever feel insecure about the fact that the way she is treated is depended on pepper? Also, what is her relationship with her pig brother? Has she ever tried to learn how to speak pig in order to talk to him? And how does she feel about leaving Wonderland? Was her mother and brother left behind and she was the only one able to escape?

Oh, and I'd like to add that I really enjoyed all of her Trivia (it was very cute to read) as well as her infobox. I especially enjoyed the little tidbits of Riddlish thrown in here and there!

Overall, I like Pepper very much as a character! I've seen a lot of self-inserts over the years, and thankfully, yours is definitely one of the better ones!

And now it's time to review the lovely Portia du Vallon~

Diva characters are my jam. I think they're funny and interesting to both write about and write with. I enjoy the fact that she's very feminine - I mean, if a princess wants to be a knight, then why can't a knight musketeer want to be a princess? I loved reading her personality, as she seemed like a very balanced and yet interesting character. I love how she's able to brush her hair and swordfight at the same time - I just like characters who show off their heroic side and aren't afraid to be feminine at the same time because femininity is awesome~

I also like that she has her own self-doubts and a little backstory to go along with it. Flaws are always great to see in a character! Also, sometimes I get really self-conscious about my frizzy, poofy hair and so trust me, Portia, I know that feel, girl.

Something that confused me a bit is that she doesn't seem to know what to do. Does she want to be a hero or not? Because it seems like she doesn't, but then you said that she wants to prove everyone both "right and wrong" and I'm not sure how she'd be able to do that. Maybe I just misread that section of the paragraph, or maybe you could just reword it a bit because I'm not entirely sure what is it that Portia wants. She calls herself a hero, but doesn't want to be, but she also wants to prove everybody wrong and be the hero...?

I'd like to see more about her Family and Friends - and especially how she interacts with them. From what I could gather from her personality, it seems as though she is at least close to her dad, since she wants to make him proud. So I'd definitely like to see more about that~ Also what other hobbies does she have other than hair styling? Is she also an avid fan of make up? What hairstyle is her favorite? She is the type of friend that likes to give people make overs? She seems like a fashion girl to me, so that's why I'm asking, because most of her is focused solely on hair (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's good to have other interests as well~)

I think Portia might be one of my favorite of your OCs so far! She has a great personality with well-balanced characteristics~ And I hope to see you expand more about Portia in the future!

Hopefully these reviews helped you in some way, or at least got you thinkin'. And if you need any help or advice, don't hesitate to ask away since I'm here to help~