User blog comment:Vinnnn/Character Critiques, Tips, and Hints/@comment-108.28.248.223-20150614151731/@comment-33209858-20150614171926

Hey there! I'm more than happy to look over and review your OCs~ With that said, I'll start with critiquing Rowan first!

Everybody knows I love Wonderlandians. They're super fun to work with, right? I like her overall "mad" personality. But I'd expand a bit on it more, and add more traits to her in general. To me, it just seems like she's "mad" but I'd like to see more on her. I'm glad that you mentioned her hobbies as well, such as her drawing and creativity. Adding stuff like that really helps expand on a character and their interests!

One thing that I noticed was that you said Blondie, Apple and Briar were "mean girls". Is that you saying that they're mean girls, or is that Rowan's perspective on them? Because from what we call see, Blondie, Apple and Briar are definitely not "mean" - I mean, Blondie can be a little gossipy, but she's really not that bad, and I can't imagine any of them actually being mean to really anyone. So perhaps you could clarify how Rowan feels about them and why

I like her backstory, with her mother being stuck in Wonderland and her father being unknown. Also, I noticed that you mentioned under her Romance section that she stayed away from romance because she thinks a guy will just up and leave her like her father did her mother. That's a totally realistic effect, and I'm glad you added that in instead of disregarding her backstory

Also, I love that you added under the Notes section where her name came from! I was curious about her middle name "Jo" until I read that, so bonus points for adding that there~ And I'm curious as to why she's afraid of "cleanies"? Is there a reason for that? I get that she could be afraid of "normalcy" as she's naturally mad, but why she is afraid of cleanliness?

My last note is about her infobox: Why does she not like clueless people? And why is her magic touch being able to name a bunch of shades of red? I would think that it would have something to do with chess, as she is the daughter of the Red Queen. Also, I'd suggest adding what her Favorite and Least Favorite Subjects are and why, just to add more to her character~

And now, onto Jewel~

I'd like to see more on her personality, plus some more flaws. Being clumsy isn't a flaw, and neither is wearing glasses. Being forgetful is a flaw, being rude is a flaw, being lazy is a flaw, being self-indulgent is a flaw - I'd suggest adding flaws to your characters that can actually be exploited in some way. That way, it's just more realistic. For example, I noticed you said that she agrees with one of her friend's cynical view on romance, even though she has a crush - Sounds a bit hypocritical. But that's not a bad thing! You could make being hypocritical a flaw of hers! Or, since she's described as a "goody two shoes" perhaps that could effect some of her relationships negatively - For example, if some of her friends want to sneak out after curfew, but Jewel is just too much of a goody two shoes to go with them. That's another flaw you could give her.

I'd also like to see more expanded on her relationship with her aunt and cousin, since I know they're meant to be the antagonists of her story. How does she feel about them? I could imagine her being scared of her aunt, who is probably very spiteful and mean like in the story. Y'know, add little tidbits like that in, and it will help expand your character even more.

Also, I'd suggest adding on why she doesn't like Princessology class. It's a tiny detail, but it helps give someone an idea of who your character is - Just like when you mention a character's bad habits or hobbies or guilty pleasures. Details sometimes really helps make or break a character

Alrighty, that's all the feedback I have for now! If you need any more advice or help or if you want me to review another character of yours, I'm more than happy to oblige~