They call me an asymptote because I'm infinitely approachable.
Zena, alias DatAsymptote, is a user on the Wikia. At an initial look, they seem a nondescript force of bad jokes and the literal embodiment of a tragicomedy so intense that it parodies itself. However, upon further investigation, they are apparently the founder of the Ever After High Fandom Wikia.
Hi! My name is Zena, though I have been called Kiwi or Fairy.
I'm a nineteen year old college sophomore studying Biophysics and Classics, trying their best in this absurdist world. I like asymptotes, the endosymbiotic theory, and the Latin language. Nucleic acids are my favourite biological molecules. My talents include being the life of the party, making friends, and accumulating more stuffed animals than can fit on my bed.
In real life, you will probably hear me talk a lot about how much I love my fraternity, science and more science, and science science science. I have interests other than being a frat boy who does science. I am also a frat boy who does maths! I also talk about other things: like how much I love my friends and how frustrating grading is, especially when it's merely Python. On the internet, I talk about those things too.
Puns and bad jokes are my lifeblood, and I believe in the inherent good of humanity and people's capacity to grow, change and improve.
In regards to the Wikia, I made this place when I was fourteen. I'm nineteen now, and it's gone through so many changes, and I feel like I've changed so much. To me, this place is a relic of my teenagehood and youth, and I don't think I could ever stop cherishing the EAHFW.
Music: Janelle Monae, Marina & the Diamonds, & Trivium (still slowly getting into more metalcore!)
Literature: Ovid's Metamorphoses, Hebert's Dune, Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Camus' The Plague.
Sports: Dragon Boat. Used to do robotics in highschool.
i unironically really like nandos
I quote things a lot. A lot of my OC pages are filled with quotes that stuck with me, or that I think work really well. To be a good scientist means that you also have to be good with humans, and capturing that human desire for discovery, and a human love to use whatever knowledge you find for good. Because of that, I really appreciate the humanities. I think that loves makes its presence clear in what I do.
But I've never seen the Icarus story as a lesson about the limitations of humans. I see it as a lesson about the limitations of wax as an adhesive.
The struggle towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
— Albert Camus, the Myth of Sisyphus. One of the first books I read during my gap year, and it shaped how I approached the rest of my life + uni.
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts—for support rather than illumination.
— my favourite Andrew Lang quote
What the Puck did you just fucking say about me, you little witch? I’ll have you know I graduated dux of my class in Ever After High, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Carabosse, and I have over 300 confirmed fruit poisonings. I am trained in significant-other-kidnapping and I’m the top archer in the entire Nottingham Forest. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this dimension, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that horsecrap to my liege, my feudal lord, over the MirrotNet? Think again, fairyfucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of All the King's Horses and Men and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the tempest, witch. The tempest that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over three hundred ways, and that’s just with my Bearskin. Not only am I extensively trained in birdspeak, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Knights of the Round Table and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face off Ever After, you shitty orc. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” vagueblog comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held the useless piece of meat called your tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will dig rabbitholes for you and you will fall down them. You're dishonoured, you estranged savage.
— EAH Version of the Navy Seals Copypasta
If you guys need any help on the Wikia, with life in general, please don't hesitate to contact me.