Blondie, it seemed, had found herself looking forward to the weekends above all, and most particularly her collaboration with the most spellbinding DJ this side of Ever After in their little rap music venture.
Of course, it was definitely, totally not because Melody was a royally gorgeous girl, the very sort that Blondie tended to swoon a little bit over... though that was a nice bonus. She wouldn't let anything but the best of the best, the realest of the real, be posted to her MirrorBlog-- which had seen a doubling in subscribers since the start of the nursery slam series.
And there was the hook. However laid back Melody might have been otherwise, there was something that she and Blondie agreed on above all else: there was gonna be a crowd, and they needed it moving.
The only way to do that was if the music was just right.
"You got the rappers to agree?" Melody asked, more conversationally than anything. She carefully hooked up her turntables to the speakers and double-checked that the connections were all solid.
"Oh, absolutely," Blondie grinned back, carefully powdering her nose for the camera. "I'm unparalleled at persuasion."
"Nice," she tested a dance-beat remix, playing as the earliest arrivals, the biggest fans, began filtering in.
And there was nothing better, they thought, than watching their little project pull in a real, genuine crowd.
"Hello, Ever After High!" Blondie swing out to center stage, not a moment too soon, "Are you ready for the one, the only..."
The crowd was unable to contain their enthusiasm, "Epic Rap Battles of Ever After High!"
Coming to you live, the students you voted for!
It's a showdown of the signature shoes…
I'm not the sort to get in battles,
Get my converses dirty
But kick the skateboard away
Cause it's about to get wordy
I have to suffer for my slippers--
No rubies, just blood
As I'm helpless to save
All the people I love
Yeah, I'm tough, and though I'll try to be nice
I won't hold back on my rhymes, don't have to tell me twice
Gotta represent the family fairytale
So by the time I'm finished, you'll be more like "Damon Fail"
Because I'm fly like a tornado
Gonna get this house shook
You signed your destiny
But haven't read your own book
I'm staying purposely genuine when I tell you right now
Sorry in advance-- 'cause you're about to go down
As the loser of this match
My shoes will walk across Oz
While all you do with yours is catch
I'm wearing rubies and silver
You've got like, regular leather
We might both get free shoes,
But they're not birds of a feather
'Cause there's no way that visiting Oz is gonna be tragic
It's a realm of adventure and a realm of magic
It's good you're not in my story
You can't tell emerald from ruby
So you can stick to your birds,
Like some red-footed booby
What do you know about your story
Except the shoes are iconic?
You could be completely wrong--
Now that would be ironic!
Your slippers are gemstone
And precious metal
But a symbol of greed
Calling pot to the kettle
What makes the man is not his dress,
It's not the shoes that you possess
But the moral of your heritage
Red slippers can express
Because you've just been served
A defeat to the beat dropped by a bird!
I came for a battle
But what's this I hear?
I can't tell if you're rapping
Or boxing my ears
You get your shoes at the end, nothing else to show
I walk a yellow-bricked path everywhere that I go
And adventure's afoot
In the parts that I know
I've got the shoes that outdo
So come at me, bro
I'll have my friends by my side
And I know I'm not wrong
When I say I know my story's
Been with me all along!
And, though certainly Damon and Avian had gotten in their licks... there was still yet one more ace up Blondie's sleeve. One more thing she had in store for the viewers-- and with a smile and a knowing nod, Melody knew it was her cue to flip the switch.
Upon a platform rising from the floor, a third combatant emerged.
You can't keep Cinderella from a battle of shoes
Just ask anybody and you know they would choose
This glass hiking boot--
Practical and stylish!
I've got serious slippers
I'll walk the extra miles and
Take to your feet all my sweet expertise
Just call this shoe fever, and I've got the disease
I'll work a part-time job because shoes are my passion
And I'm royally happy to display the new fashion
Looks like it takes a royal
To bring a rap-battle some class
You might wear red shoes
But you can kiss my glass!
Who won?? Who's next?
Epic Rap Battles of Ever After Hiiiiiiiigh!
"Seriously, though," Avian began. "Nice kicks. Are those custom soles?"
"Yeah, they're pretty nice," Damon agreed. "Yours look awesome, too-- aren't those from last year's limited-edition line?"
"Hey! You noticed," Avian seemed pleasantly surprised. "They are... though I had to ask Icarus to make sure they were red and not green."
"I think they'd look great on you in green, too," Ashlynn smiled back. "I really do love the shoes in both of your stories, even if I'm most comfortable in glass ones myself. They're so royally enchanting."
"Definitely! I'm always really impressed that the Marlinchen shoes get dropped by a bird," Damon nodded enthusiastically. "Especially since it's also strong enough to carry an anvil. It really makes me wonder how I'm supposed to get the famous silver slippers in my own story..."
"Well, birds just seem to like me," Avian shrugged a little. "The ones around campus are really nice, if you get to know them."
"You know what? I'd love to go on a nature hike later this week," Ashynn suggested excitedly. "We can explore the woods... chat with the birds..."
The corner of Avian's mouth twitched upwards knowingly, "Shop for hiking shoes beforehand?"
"Well," Ashlynn chuckled sheepishly. "You can never have too many pairs of shoes."
"That's true enough... and I suppose I'm due for a pair of, er, actual hiking boots," Damon admitted.
A horrified expression crossed Ashlynn's face. "What have you been wearing instead?"
"Um... sneakers?" Damon smiled awkwardly.
"That settles it, I think." Avian volunteered, "Is this afternoon good for you guys, too?"
"Sounds perfect for me," Ashlynn clasped each of their shoulders. "How about I let you use my employee discount?"
"I refuse to let go until you clarify what, exactly, you thought you were doing!" Her own ears pressed back, flat against her head. "You were-- doing something to the backstage entryway! I don't like this new tradition... but I know that nothing good happens when you're seen sneaking around."
"I was just trying to have a little chat..." he whined, releasing a hiss as Celes only pulled his ear harder. "Ow! Okay, I was trying to get a verse in. Is that a crime?"
"Yes!" she exclaimed vehemently. "You weren't invited!"
"But it was a rap battle about shoes," Percy protested, turning his most adorable expression on her. "And they didn't invite the next Puss in Boots! My story's all about shoes! Clothes make the man, and all that. Come on... we both know that forgetting me is the worse crime, here."
"I don't see any crimes," she narrowed her eyes. "Save for the one you were about to commit. Breaking and entering, was it not?"
"Yeowch! It's over now, you don't have to keep pulling my ear!"