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The Kiss//Gun Secret Agent AU takes place in the canon Ever After High universe, with crucial change-- everyone is (roughly at least) ten years older, and everyone is in some way connected to one of the secret agencies, the Golden Gun Syndicate, the Silver Kiss Escorts, or the Fairytale Bureau of Investigation (better known simply as the FBI).

Originally written by Alpha as a fanfiction trilogy hosted on Google Docs, the text has been ported to wiki for publication. The entire story is presently rated T for Teen (13+) due to strong language, some innuendo, and mild violence. It is, however, quite considerably milder than your average James Bond film.

All primary characters used with explicit permission. Creators of these main characters have pre-approved publication of this fic.

Blow a Kiss (Fire a Gun)

Summary

Secret agent Percy Boots, leading field operative of the Golden Gun syndicate, is sent to investigate a highly suspicious, very mysterious and exceedingly beautiful woman who keeps showing up uninvited to Director M's especially shady fêtes. Celes Mochigome just wants to do her normal job in peace, thanks.

Characters

Percy Boots / Celes Mochigome (ship), Romeo V. Cupid, mentions of others.

Notes

The secret agent AU nobody asked for, inspired entirely too much by this pic (via Estella). Author is PurCel trash.

Glass Slipper, Golden Gun

Summary

The pastry chef Celes Mochigome has had to adjust to a few... interesting changes as of late. Changes that have to do with her maybe-sorta-definitely-not-official occasional date, Percy Boots... things like unexpected visitors during recipe experiments. Things like being surprised with tango music and roses at four AM on a Wednesday. Things like the police coming to interrogate her when Percy's broken in somewhere-- again! (And that's before she finds out that he's a secret agent for the highly dubious Golden Gun Syndicate. Grimm save her.)

Characters

Percy Boots / Celes Mochigome (ship), Ryusei Arctic, Romeo V. Cupid, Celadon West.

Notes

More of the secret agent AU that nobody asked for. I'm still Purrcel trash.

The FBI Agents may have been a little bit inspired by Sage Idason and River Loxias but I'm not saying that's who they are

You Only Live Nine Times

Summary

After the Fairytale Bureau of Investigation discovers the Golden Gun Syndicate, the agency's top members are incarcerated for their crimes-- theft, murder, hacking. Secret agent Percy Boots, however, is held prisoner still by his memories, above all. Celes Mochigome has left him, unable to reconcile Percy's world of espionage and intrigue with her own life as an ordinary pastry chef. For the first time ever, Percy Boots cannot have the one that he wants... and staying away from her is killing him.

It might kill Celes, too.

Characters

Percy Boots / Celes Mochigome (ship), Ryusei Arctic, Romeo V. Cupid, Celadon West.

Notes

The ruling on DG, as mentioned in this story, is a canon school rule as of Next Top Villain in Suzanne Selfors' EAH book series.

Escape from Antilla

Summary

An interim story told between Glass Slipper, Golden Gun and You Only Live Nine Times, originally belonging to the latter fic.

Three guys in an enclosed jail cell for three months. What could go wrong? ... a lot, apparently.

Characters

Percy Boots, Ryusei Arctic, Romeo V. Cupid

Mirror, Mirror (On the Call)

Summary

Nobody believes FBI agent River Loxias when they say that Mirriah Glass is more than a myth. Nobody believes, except for resident conspiracy theorist, Agent Sage Idason... and, of course, the real Mirriah Glass herself, who will do anything to stay a secret.

Expansion of the Kiss//Gun Secret Agent universe.

Characters

River Loxias / Mirriah Glass (ship), Sage Idason, cameos by Ryusei Arctic, Airmid Valerian, & Celadon West. Others mentioned.

Notes

Airmid Valerian deserves to be an Important FBI person. In a twist of irony, Mirriah Glass becomes the much-hunted myth of questionable existence. River Loxias and Sage Idason are my gasmask BroTP.

Jeweled Dagger, Silver Kiss

Summary

Reeling from a betrayed alliance with the FBI, the privatized espionage agency Golden Gun must seek out the favor of its foremost rival agency in order to properly extract its vengeance. The femme fatales of Silver Kiss, however, seem to have their own plans about the benefits of such a... surprising collaboration. Tensions mount as the two agencies clash-- perhaps, indeed, between all the wrong people.

Characters

Percy Boots / Celes Mochigome (ship), Sable Mimicry / Brangwen Von Dark (unrequited ship), Garnet East, Mirriah Glass, Scarlet Anne d'Herblay, Romeo V. Cupid, Philomela Towerbird, Ryusei Arctic, Celadon West, Domino Mittens, Consolacion Blanco, others mentioned.

Notes

Story picks up approximately five days before the last scene in Mirror, Mirror. Written as one of three planned parts for Camp NaNo, April 2017 (pray for me).

FROM SLEEPOVER WITH LOVE

Summary

Forced into a merger in order to combat the Fairytale Bureau of Investigations, Golden Gun and Silver Kiss find their first collaborative contract in the form of a mysterious summons sent by the heir to the legacy of Dame Gothel: the oddball eccentric Neoclassical “Alpha” Towers.

It just might be more than they can survive.

Or: the classically-styled 2004 era fanfic tangentially related to Kiss//Gun. Please R&R, no flames XD

Characters

Alpha Towers, Brangwen Von Dark, Celadon West, Celes Mochigome, Garnet East, Percy Boots, Philomela Towerbird, Romeo V. Cupid, Sable Mimicry, others mentioned

Notes

I bet you guys thought my threats to write a scriptfic styled after the mid-2000s were empty. They weren't. Warnings for inappropriate usage of of magic, catnip, popcorn, and alcohol. I'm so, so sorry.

This is presently the only fic that continues to be hosted on GoogleDocs. I strongly doubt it will ever be ported to a wikia page, due to the complexity of formatting.

Critical Reception: Praise for Kiss//Gun

im laughing at romeo
Spades, 5/5

Trivia

  • I literally have no excuse for this.
  • This fic is being expanded for Camp NaNo 2017.
  • If you printed out this entire mess of a fanfic, you could fill roughly one Suzanne Selfors novel.
  • In this AU, Silver Kiss may or may not be a domestic mess.
    • There might be a sequel along this line.
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