wow hey it's 2020

anyway!!! zee did this first here but here's how this goes basically!!! hand over the accursed name of one of my characters along with someone they'd reasonably know, like an ex, a parent, or whatever else comes to mind. i'll do my best to write it in the way they'd do it!

oh, and be sure to send requests to zena and whoever else does this!! woo!!!

Ariel to his mother

Dear Mommy

Dear Mama

Dear Mother


It feels weird to be writing these to you still. I mean, I'm not a fucking kid anymore. You'd be happy to know that I barely ever dream about you these days. You were always like 'the past is in the past' and 'live for today' when you used to be around.

Well, I'm trying. I'd really like to do that, just so you can smile wherever you are and pretend you're proud of me for being just like you. But it's hard. I don't think I'll ever understand how you kept saying those things when you knew they weren't true. The past's constantly here, there, everywhere. It's even in this damn letter. I'm writing to a dead woman, and I'm going to burn it with my roommate's lighter and pretend it'll give me 'closure'. What's closure anyway? Am I really supposed to get it by writing these things? WERE YOU LIVING FOR TODAY WHEN YOU DIED IN OUR DAMN LIVING ROOM-

God, part of me wants to say sorry. It's not like you're alive. I don't know who I'd be saying sorry to. I'm more apologizing to your corpse, I think. Don't laugh, but I always thought that if I got there faster, then maybe...

Look, it doesn't really matter. Like I said, I'm going to write this and burn it and feel better. The smoke might carry the words to you or something. I saw that in some cheesy movie the other day. Talk about smoke signals. You would have hated it. You never liked movies that tried too hard to be real.

Honestly, I think this sort of thing is funny. I never knew you, and you never got the chance to really know me. The past's not really fair to the both of us, and neither is today.

And, just between us? I don't know why, but I still miss your dumb phrases. Bother some angels with them sometime. You know you want to.

- Ariel

Oma to Ariel

To my fellow Mississippian,

I'm definitely having an email copy of this and I'm taking pictures so you can't just burn it with Kim's lighter and pretend you never got it. You keep telling me that I never do anything fun and antiquated, so HERE. Here's your letter.

Now, I really only have one thing to ask. This is very important, so please reply. Not to overexaggerate, but this is literally a life or death situation.

Ariel. My buddy. My broski. My light.

Send nudes?


You know who it is, coming 'round again-

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